At the Don't Extinguish blog, we look at burnout syndrome from many perspectives. In the articles we present the results of studies, advice from experts and therapeutically accepted methods. But what ultimately helps the most in our experience is sharing real stories and experiences. It's good to know that whatever you're going through, you're not alone.
Tell us about yourself. What are you currently doing or have you done?
After I got into a crisis that led to a life reboot, I returned to my native South Moravia. In May it was a year since I left my hectic life and set values that I try to honor every day. At the same time, I am working as a gold and real estate investment officer, where I am doing my job responsibly and going home with a clear head. In my spare time I spend time with friends, play sports and continue to pursue my personal development.
When did you first experience burnout?
My first experience with burnout syndrome was during a presentation I gave in college. Even back then, I thought I fit many of the prerequisites based on the checklist, but I never thought it would actually affect me one day. Back then, I had a favorite motto: Sometimes you have to get lost to discover who you really are. Without knowing how much power it would one day have.
How did it all start?
When I finished my studies in Prague, I had no idea what field I wanted to work in. I had the feeling that I didn't really know anything specific. I had three jobs, each of which I went into with full enthusiasm, but most of the time I ended up working overtime and feeling like I wasn't doing anything meaningful anyway. I started thinking about therapy, probably thanks to a partner who had experience with it. But it doesn't work like that, you talk, the other side understands, feels sorry for you and the problem is over. The real causes are just starting to surface from the subconscious. And I went so hard that I cut the last branches of certainty underneath me.
Has the tripod in your life that holds your relationships, work and leisure time together fallen apart?
Exactly. I couldn't even say I was into volleyball or friends anymore. I thought about changing jobs, but whatever I thought of, I knew I couldn't do it. At this point, the antidepressants kicked in.
When did it all come to a head?
The full stop came when I didn't sleep for five nights in a row. In the morning, I sat at my laptop and just stared at my calendar, waiting for my one mid-day meeting to start. I would text or call my colleagues with some nonsensical questions just to feel like I was doing something. My body said enough is enough and got tired of me not responding to all the warning signs. I went from day to day through crisis intervention to National Institute of Mental Health to a day care center.
What were you experiencing?
In fact, it was a lifesaver for me, because when you go on sick leave with antibiotics, the treatment is clear, but with mental illness it's different. In fact, the National Institute of Mental Health sent the universe to me because normally there are waiting times of a quarter of a year and I was offered a place within a fortnight. It was like going to school again for me: getting up in the morning, packing my backpack, getting to my eight o'clock class, having a set schedule and then doing my homework. During those six weeks, I had a lot of strong fluctuations, even wondering if I would leave even more broken. But the most important thing was that there was a group of great people with similar problems and we created a nice and supportive atmosphere. I didn't leave in a state where my problems were over, but it was definitely an intense start to the whole treatment.
Would you compare burnout to anything?
Probably to the demon inside myself, which I gave space to control my mind and world view by exhausting my organism. It then took control of my soul and heart and attacked my work, self-esteem, relationships and hobbies.
What really helped you get through the worst of it?
A return to the quiet South Moravia and leaving the hectic life in Prague. Total abstinence, thanks to which I stopped creating an illusion of myself and accepted myself as I am. Therapy and an overall different perception of myself. Uninstalling Facebook, which I spent a lot of time on, and which kept me in a targeted bubble of articles and information in the most difficult moments. My own decision to stop taking all medications. Discovering my strengths and talents. Being completely open. Going outdoors, playing sports and seeing friends helped me. I had to make a hard decision and leave the person I loved and helped all along, the home I built, my friends and start over. It set me on a completely different path in life, which I am grateful for despite the losses.
What hidden causes do you think led you to burnout syndrome ?
Definitely low self-esteem. Internally, I tried to compensate, but at the expense of my natural self. In this illusion, I was repressing my true worth. But most of all, in every job and in my daily life, I manifested an exaggerated responsibility and taking it for others. An exaggerated willingness to participate in everything. I'm a very friendly person and in the big city I felt the need to be everywhere and with everyone. At work, I didn't have boundaries on what my competencies and abilities were, so it was challenging for me to maintain that willingness boundary. Even now, sometimes I feel this fatigue of dealing with a lot of things and trying to please, but I've come to see it and call it being Remapped and I need to rest. Then the alcohol, a demon in itself, and finally the misery of not being in control and not caring.
What advice would you give to people who are feeling the signs of burnout or are already experiencing it?
I would be the first to say that you can't solve burnout by yourself. Family, partners and friends give you a sense of security and understanding, but quite often their advice doesn't get to the heart of the problem. An important step for me was to seek out a therapist with whom I worked session by session to unravel the source of my conditions. Trust and complete openness is important there, it's the only way a true professional can ask the questions that don't occur to us alone. And in those moments when you have the darkest scenarios in your head, asking me Should I be worried about you? calmed her down a bit. Suddenly I knew I wasn't just receiving money and it didn't matter what happened after an hour behind closed doors. The hardest part for me was knowing that no one could estimate the length of my recovery. This brought up the strongest feelings of hopelessness and thoughts that I would never be normal and able to work again.
And the other?
That medication alone is not enough. I don't want to discuss my experience too deeply, because it can be quite subjective. I would just like to point out that they can be helpful at certain stages, but you must not fall into the trap of thinking they will solve your problem.
How do you take this whole experience and how would you conclude it?
I would conclude this stage of my life and experience with burnout to severe depression with the slogan: I have a demon inside me, but we're friends now. If I had to share a game changer for others, it would be: Be yourself, as natural as you are. And if you don't know who you are, look for it in yourself, not in those around you.
Each extinction story is unique. But if you are familiar with the experience of our volunteer Zuzka or if you feel that burnout syndrome could apply to you, do not hesitate to contact us.
